These Men

I remember like it was yesterday. We stepped out the back door of grandma’s shotgun house into a crisp, dark autumn morning. The grass was wet as we trekked to the car dressed head to toe in camouflage. 

I pondered why we had to get up so early and did we really need to go stealth to find a deer?

Dad checked the trunk - guns, bullets, knife, binoculars and bologna sandwiches along with his obligatory case of beer. One piece of equipment that stood out was the orange toboggan and vest. 

Dad explained in a stern voice that we must wear them at all times to minimize the risk of being shot. This snapped me fully awake - get shot!? My eyes were wide as I asked for verification of what was said. I commented that I didn’t realize deer were armed, but dad did not find the comment funny as my brother did. Honestly, I was scared.

“The bright orange is so hunters won’t mistake you for a deer.” He kneeled in front of me and explained as if it made perfect sense.

I looked myself up and down and did the same with my brother - we looked nothing like deer. At least, nothing like the pictures of deer I had seen. Furthermore, we were camouflaged so how would the hunters see us? Then I wondered, a little too loud for dad’s sake, if the deer were camouflaged as well. 

“Why would a deer be camouflaged? What are they hiding from?” Dad asked with hands on his hips. 

“Us?” I stammered.

“You think they know who we are?” 

“They don’t?” I was more confused.

“Of course they don’t, they are stupid animals.” He patted my brother on the back while laughing.

“Then why are we masquerading?” I motioned up and down at my clothes.

“Mascaring what? All those books making you stupid. These clothes allow us to blend in so they don’t get spooked.”

“Okay.” I shrugged.

We were now standing in a field with a few bare trees around us. The green of our costumes looked nothing like the surroundings. It made me think of a puzzle that tells you to find what doesn’t belong - I’d circle the three of us.

“What about our orange hats?” I just could not avoid it.

“What about them?”

“Do deer wear orange?” I almost laughed at how funny it sounded.

“Are you getting smart boy?” 

“No sir.”

“You know damn well they don’t wear orange, it is for protection.”

“But won’t the deer see them and know it is us?” 

At this point, my brother grabbed me and dragged me to our hiding spot. Dad stood mumbling to himself for a few minutes before joining. I kept waiting for a slap that never arrived.

As Dad told the story, we were lucky as it only took a few hours before deer appeared. It felt like an eternity, I made up stories in my head to pass the time - the orange hat made me think of Holden and his red cap.

“Get ready.” He both yelled and whispered while signaling to aim our weapons. He had spent hours, well at least one hour Saturday night, teaching us to shoot. 

My hands shook as I raised the weapon. The deer approached, it seemed like I could reach out and touch it. Mentally, I named it - Wilma.

“Shoot!” He whisper yelled at us.

I closed my eyes and pulled the trigger moments after my brother unloaded. I looked to my right and saw my dad yelling, but I could not hear - the ringing filled my head for another hour.

Within moments we were standing over a dead body. I doubted, rather wished, it was not my fault. I think Dad shot it and gave us credit, my brother agreed. I was just happy the hunt was over as we could now go home. The deer was dead as a doornail as grandma would say. What the heck is a doornail? I made a mental note to look it up.

We helped Dad drag it back to the car and into the trunk. The size of that trunk was amazing - it was an LTD, one of biggest cars I’ve ever seen, we always referred to it as the Tank due to its size and green color.

On the way home, we stopped at a shop that would clean and dress it - I still have no clue why it is called that - and Dad proudly stood over the carcass and looked at us.

“These men are no longer the people you once knew.”

With those words, he motioned towards us and smiled and all the guys patted our heads, laughed and grabbed another beer.