Friday, April 29, 2022

Sign Here

“There’s popcorn over there.” She pointed at a small popcorn machine near the pharmacy desk. 

The familiar red, white, and blue Pepsi logo filled the dark room. Why had they repeatedly called it a Coke machine?  There was a large sign on the door that said 'Vending". Why was the sign needed? The machine rejected the bill a few times. I stretched it taut between my hands while rubbing it against the edge of the machine. I had watched dad use the same technique. The machine finally accepted it after a few attempts. The cold Mountain Dew burned my throat. I quickly finished and bought another since they were only fifty cents. I grabbed some popcorn and settled into a seat near the front of the showroom. 

    

I observed the lot and its heat, but dad was nowhere to be found. I slowly stood up and stepped closer to the window, my stomach dropped as my eyes frantically scanned everything.


“Its okay, your dad went for a ride with Larry. He told me to tell you to wait for him in here.” She gently touched my back while beaming the now familiar smile. I wondered if dad had actually told her that, or was it a standard thing said during test drives. Then again, there is the chance he had left, it's not like it had never happened. The incident at the bowling alley popped in my head, but I quickly pushed it away.


I looked to the left where our car was parked. The lime green Ford LTD stood out. Its driver side front fender was a different shade of green. Dad had replaced it after an accident – that was an exciting trip to the junk yard. 


All of the old, wrecked cars lined up - you can either remove the part yourself or get them to do it - dad had done it himself since cheaper. I had kept track of the bolts and other small parts. The dark green finish on the new fender clashed with the rest of the car. We found some green spray paint at K-Mart, but it was nowhere near the original color of the car. Dad liked to call it his tank, I loved sitting in the front on that long bench seat as he drove.


I was startled when dad touched my shoulder. Old Spice enveloped me as he sampled my popcorn and took a long drink from my can. I never liked drinking after people. Mom forbid it, but dad said she didn’t need to know everything. I wiped the can with my sleeve when he was not looking.


“What do you think of that?” Dad motioned at the gray car in front of the building.


“Nice.” I didn’t know what to say.


"It's a Camaro. Remember the blue one I had?"


"The one with the rusted trunk lid?"


"That's right, it did have some damage on the trunk." He laughed like it was a joke.


"You always said you hated that car."


“Did I say that? Well, would you like to go home in that?” He smiled proudly while staring at the car.


“I thought you were just looking?” Everything had suddenly changed, I wanted to go home - call mom to pick me up.


“Well, I did look.” He smiled while staring at the women that had helped me.


“I thought you wanted something bigger? You had talked about a truck.” I searched for anything to support my case.


“Sir, the credit check went well. Follow me so we can review the paperwork.” Burt rudely interrupted us.


“Dad, don’t you.” I stopped as he turned and walked away.


I watched as Burt repeatedly visited the pharmacy desk. Other salesmen escorted people around the lot. I smiled as Burt and another man slowly circled the tank. The other man elbowed Burt and they shared a laughed. I wondered what was so funny.


“You ready to ride home in style?” Dad beamed while hovering over me.


“Sure.” I observed the now familiar car through the window. I hated myself for wanting to ride in it.


“C’mon, let’s go put our stuff in it.” Dad said.


“Okay.” I plodded behind him. I felt a sense of loss as we approached the tank. I wanted to ride in it one more time. I kept thinking of all of the places we had been in it.


I ignored Burt as we transferred things from the big trunk to its smaller counterpart. Fishing poles, tackle boxes, sleeping bags, tools, our tent, and much more rested on the hot pavement. It resembled a big puzzle as dad arranged the items.


“Well, the green monster is gone. Let’s hop in the gray ghost.” Dad announced.


I plopped into the passenger seat and slammed the door. I adjusted the side mirror, but dad made me move it so he could see. He slowly pulled from the curb as I spun around for a last glance at the tank.


“I bet you’re hot?”


“Yeah.” I smiled with a shrug as moisture covered my body.


He pushed a lever to the right and warm air exploded from the louvered vents.


“Well, that is odd.” Dad mumbled while pulling to the side of the road.


“Does it have a/c?” I mumbled to myself with immediate regret, but there was nothing on the controls that indicated air conditiioning.


“Well, I assumed it did.” He responded with a sheepish smile while playing with the levers on the dash.


My heart sank as I watched embarrassment and subsequent anger erupt in his eyes. I knew mom would laugh about it. So, I vowed she would not find out as we raced down the highway with our arms dangling from the windows.


I held my hand out the window and leaned forward to get air to my wet back as we we raced down the highway.

Thursday, April 14, 2022

These Men

I remember like it was yesterday. We stepped out the back door of grandma’s shotgun house into a crisp, dark autumn morning. The grass was wet as we trekked to the car dressed head to toe in camouflage. 

I pondered why we had to get up so early and did we really need to go stealth to find a deer?


Dad checked the trunk - guns, bullets, knife, binoculars and bologna sandwiches along with his obligatory case of beer. One piece of equipment that stood out was the orange toboggan and vest. 


Dad explained in a stern voice that we must wear them at all times to minimize the risk of being shot. This snapped me fully awake - get shot!? My eyes were wide as I asked for verification of what was said. I commented that I didn’t realize deer were armed, but dad did not find the comment funny as my brother did. Honestly, I was scared.


“The bright orange is so hunters won’t mistake you for a deer.” He kneeled in front of me and explained as if it made perfect sense.


I looked myself up and down and did the same with my brother - we looked nothing like deer. At least, nothing like the pictures of deer I had seen. Furthermore, we were camouflaged so how would the hunters see us? Then I wondered, a little too loud for dad’s sake, if the deer were camouflaged as well. 


“Why would a deer be camouflaged? What are they hiding from?” Dad asked with hands on his hips. 


“Us?” I stammered.


“You think they know who we are?” 


“They don’t?” I was more confused.


“Of course they don’t, they are stupid animals.” He patted my brother on the back while laughing.


“Then why are we masquerading?” I motioned up and down at my clothes.


“Mascaring what? All those books making you stupid. These clothes allow us to blend in so they don’t get spooked.”


“Okay.” I shrugged.


We were now standing in a field with a few bare trees around us. The green of our costumes looked nothing like the surroundings. It made me think of a puzzle that tells you to find what doesn’t belong - I’d circle the three of us.


“What about our orange hats?” I just could not avoid it.


“What about them?”


“Do deer wear orange?” I almost laughed at how funny it sounded.


“Are you getting smart boy?” 


“No sir.”


“You know damn well they don’t wear orange, it is for protection.”


“But won’t the deer see them and know it is us?” 


At this point, my brother grabbed me and dragged me to our hiding spot. Dad stood mumbling to himself for a few minutes before joining. I kept waiting for a slap that never arrived.


As Dad told the story, we were lucky as it only took a few hours before deer appeared. It felt like an eternity, I made up stories in my head to pass the time - the orange hat made me think of Holden and his red cap.


“Get ready.” He both yelled and whispered while signaling to aim our weapons. He had spent hours, well at least one hour Saturday night, teaching us to shoot. 


My hands shook as I raised the weapon. The deer approached, it seemed like I could reach out and touch it. Mentally, I named it - Wilma.


“Shoot!” He whisper yelled at us.


I closed my eyes and pulled the trigger moments after my brother unloaded. I looked to my right and saw my dad yelling, but I could not hear - the ringing filled my head for another hour.


Within moments we were standing over a dead body. I doubted, rather wished, it was not my fault. I think Dad shot it and gave us credit, my brother agreed. I was just happy the hunt was over as we could now go home. The deer was dead as a doornail as grandma would say. What the heck is a doornail? I made a mental note to look it up.


We helped Dad drag it back to the car and into the trunk. The size of that trunk was amazing - it was an LTD, one of biggest cars I’ve ever seen, we always referred to it as the Tank due to its size and green color.


On the way home, we stopped at a shop that would clean and dress it - I still have no clue why it is called that - and Dad proudly stood over the carcass and looked at us.


“These men are no longer the people you once knew.”


With those words, he motioned towards us and smiled and all the guys patted our heads, laughed and grabbed another beer.